Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...
In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...
Desperate Measures: Trump’s Border Czar Announces Nationwide Workplace Raids with Clown Car Logistics
In a shocking escalation of workplace immigration policy, Trump’s newly appointed ‘border czar’ has unveiled plans for ludicrously extravagant immigration raids that will sweep...
Nation in Shock as Local Man Leaves Giant Tattoo-Shaped Dent in Gravity After Bumping...
In a stunning display of human clumsiness, one man’s unfortunate encounter with a wall has not only left a mark on his body but...
Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?
In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...
Local Man Shocked to Discover ‘Being Tired’ Is Just a Rational Response to Existing...
In a stunning revelation, a local man has uncovered the shocking truth behind 'being tired'—a completely normal reaction to living in a world governed...
Local Man Confirms Universe’s Total Lack of Sense Makes Absolutely No Sense to Him
In a groundbreaking moment of existential clarity, one bewildered local has voiced an opinion about the universe that has left everyone scratching their heads....
Squirrel Launches Full-Scale Assault on Mom’s Window in Buffalo, City Declares State of Emergency
In an unprecedented incident that has left Buffalo residents baffled and on high alert, a rogue squirrel took aim at a mother's window, igniting...
Uncontrolled ‘Fireworks’ at New Jersey-New York Border Sparks Nationwide Outrage Over 2,500 Acres of...
In an unprecedented turn of events, a raging fire has engulfed over 2,500 acres at the New Jersey-New York border, prompting questions about state...
Luigi Mangione Hires 5-Star Attorneys to Defend Against Murder Charge, Promises to Set New...
In a bizarre twist worthy of a courtroom drama, alleged murderer Luigi Mangione has gone above and beyond by securing a legal team so...
Just Eat Takeaway Announces Epic Fire Sale of Grubhub, Offers Free Integrity with Every...
In a move that has left the food delivery industry shaking, Just Eat Takeaway has decided to sell Grubhub at a jaw-dropping loss of...
