Nation in Shock as Local Man Leaves Giant Tattoo-Shaped Dent in Gravity After Bumping...
In a stunning display of human clumsiness, one man’s unfortunate encounter with a wall has not only left a mark on his body but...
Local Man Asks ‘Fair Question’ Before Instantly Becoming CEO of Quantum Time Travel Company
A seemingly benign inquiry has skyrocketed a humble local man's life into the cosmos, as he casually asks a fair question, triggering an unforeseen...
Lawyer Claims Client’s Outburst at Jail Was Actually an Elaborate Performance Art Piece
In a case that defies both reason and sanity, the lawyer representing a suspect in the notorious killing of a healthcare executive insists his...
Yazidi Teen Escapes ISIS, Only to Be Rescued by a Winnipeg Moose with a...
The tale of a Yazidi teen’s perilous escape from ISIS in Iraq has taken a bizarre and comical twist. In an absurd saga that...
Desperate Measures: Trump’s Border Czar Announces Nationwide Workplace Raids with Clown Car Logistics
In a shocking escalation of workplace immigration policy, Trump’s newly appointed ‘border czar’ has unveiled plans for ludicrously extravagant immigration raids that will sweep...
Nation Substitutes Phub Ban with Mandatory Abstinence Classes Taught by Former Adult Film Stars
In an unexpected twist, a nation grappling with a ban on adult content is now opting for a rather quirky solution: mandatory abstinence classes...
Jersey Mike’s Subs Valued at $8 Billion After Mysterious Investment from Intergalactic Sandwich Consortium
In a shockwave reverberating through both the culinary and financial worlds, Jersey Mike's Subs has reportedly rocketed to an astronomical $8 billion valuation following...
Local Man Confirms Universe’s Total Lack of Sense Makes Absolutely No Sense to Him
In a groundbreaking moment of existential clarity, one bewildered local has voiced an opinion about the universe that has left everyone scratching their heads....
Local Dad Deemed ‘Inappropriate’ After Outrageous Attempt to Replicate Viral TikTok Dance at School...
In a shocking turn of events, a local father has been labeled 'inappropriate' after his overly ambitious attempt to steal the spotlight during his...
Biden Unleashes Presidential Fury, Neatly Commuting 1,500 Sentences While Hosting Nationwide Game of Clemency...
In a spectacular showcase of executive power, President Biden shocked the world by commuting a jaw-dropping 1,500 sentences and doling out 39 pardons in...
