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Jersey Mike’s Subs Valued at $8 Billion After Mysterious Investment from Intergalactic Sandwich Consortium

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In a shockwave reverberating through both the culinary and financial worlds, Jersey Mike's Subs has reportedly rocketed to an astronomical $8 billion valuation following...

U.S. Defense Contractor Offers $42 Million to Former Iraqi Detainees as Apology for Mental...

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In a wild twist in corporate accountability, a U.S. defense contractor has announced it will pay $42 million to former Iraqi detainees, coupled with...

TIL Al Capone Ran Charity Dedicated to Feeding Three Hot Meals a Day to...

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In one of the most ludicrous twists of charity lore, infamous gangster Al Capone not only served up hot meals to the down-and-out during...

Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?

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In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...

Logan Paul Unveils Revolutionary Cryptocurrency: Investors Flee as Paul Claims to be the ‘Coin...

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Logan Paul, the infamous social media persona, has taken misleading to new heights by introducing a cryptocurrency purportedly backed by magical wonders. This absurd...

Vigilante Traffic Sign Artist Declared Public Enemy Number One for Unleashing Unseen Levels of...

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In a jaw-dropping twist of creativity, a vigilante artist has turned the roads of Colorado into a riotous display of NSFW traffic signs, prompting...

Sister Considers Divorce After Learning Husband Voted in *That* Election; Family Emergency Hotline Opened

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In a shocking twist of familial loyalty, one woman's discovery that her husband voted for the *other* candidate has spiraled into a potential divorce...

Delicate Footballer Engages in Epic Mid-Air Brawl with Pilot After Being Mistaken for a...

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In a surreal twist of fate, a fragile footballer finds himself in an outrageous battle while soaring through the skies, after a pilot inadvertently...

Haitian Vacation Destined for Chaos as Spirit Airlines Announces New ‘Guns or Roses’ Flight...

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In a shocking turn of events grounded in absurdity, Spirit Airlines has rolled out its latest promotional campaign, ‘Guns or Roses’, following a memorable...

Nation Holds Breath as Kash Patel Nominated to Wield Unlimited Power, Experts Predict Apocalypse

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In a shocking twist that could only be dreamt up by Hollywood screenwriters, the former FBI officials are raising alarms over Kash Patel’s upcoming...