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Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...

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In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...

Archaeologists Discover Ancient Egyptian Party Scene Featuring Mummies Downing Psychedelic Cocktails at Raves

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Recent archaeological discoveries have blown the lid off ancient Egyptian culture, revealing that the pharaohs were not just known for their hieroglyphs and tombs...

Squirrel Launches Full-Scale Assault on Mom’s Window in Buffalo, City Declares State of Emergency

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In an unprecedented incident that has left Buffalo residents baffled and on high alert, a rogue squirrel took aim at a mother's window, igniting...

Uncontrolled ‘Fireworks’ at New Jersey-New York Border Sparks Nationwide Outrage Over 2,500 Acres of...

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In an unprecedented turn of events, a raging fire has engulfed over 2,500 acres at the New Jersey-New York border, prompting questions about state...

Haitian Vacation Destined for Chaos as Spirit Airlines Announces New ‘Guns or Roses’ Flight...

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In a shocking turn of events grounded in absurdity, Spirit Airlines has rolled out its latest promotional campaign, ‘Guns or Roses’, following a memorable...

Local Man Shocked to Discover ‘Being Tired’ Is Just a Rational Response to Existing...

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In a stunning revelation, a local man has uncovered the shocking truth behind 'being tired'—a completely normal reaction to living in a world governed...

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Sued for Allegedly Organizing Brutal Dance Battle After Unsolicited ‘Sassy Move’

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In a shocking turn of events, Sean 'Diddy' Combs finds himself at the center of a lawsuit after being accused of launching an impromptu...

Harriet Tubman Awarded Intergalactic General Rank at Veterans Day Extravaganza, Unleashing Time-Traveling Freedom Fighters

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In a move that can only be described as a cosmic blend of history and sci-fi, Harriet Tubman has been posthumously promoted to the...

Donald Trump Jr. Spanks Zelenskyy for Allowance Cuts, Proposes ‘Budgeting for War’ Lecture

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In a bizarre twist of geopolitical ridicule, Donald Trump Jr. took to social media to mock Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, suggesting a cut in...

Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?

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In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...