Sister Considers Divorce After Learning Husband Voted in *That* Election; Family Emergency Hotline Opened
In a shocking twist of familial loyalty, one woman's discovery that her husband voted for the *other* candidate has spiraled into a potential divorce...
FDA Discovers Secret Mold Army in Tom’s of Maine Facility, Citing Bacteria as New...
In an unexpected twist, the FDA's recent inspection at Tom's of Maine has unveiled a bizarre world where bacteria and mold reign supreme, prompting...
McKinsey & Company Settles Opioid Crisis Probe by Paying $650 Million in Monopoly Money
In a move more reminiscent of a children’s game than corporate accountability, McKinsey & Company has agreed to pay $650 million to resolve a...
Local Dad Deemed ‘Inappropriate’ After Outrageous Attempt to Replicate Viral TikTok Dance at School...
In a shocking turn of events, a local father has been labeled 'inappropriate' after his overly ambitious attempt to steal the spotlight during his...
Biden Unleashes Presidential Fury, Neatly Commuting 1,500 Sentences While Hosting Nationwide Game of Clemency...
In a spectacular showcase of executive power, President Biden shocked the world by commuting a jaw-dropping 1,500 sentences and doling out 39 pardons in...
Local Man Mistakenly Believes Sperm Whale Just Trying to Scan Him for Wi-Fi Connection
In an extraordinary case of aquatic miscommunication, marine biologist Dave Chandler claims a curious sperm whale attempted to 'scan' him for Wi-Fi while he...
Nation Offers Free Permanent Residency In Exchange For Bizarre Talent Show Audition
Imagine a world where the path to instant citizenship isn’t just paved with paperwork, but instead involves performing the moonwalk while reclining in a...
Exclusive: Russia Withdraws from Syria in Attempt to Pave Driveway with Airstrikes
In a shocking turn of events, sources confirm that Russia is not completely exiting Syria, instead opting for a bizarre new endeavor: turning military...
Inside Norway’s Maximum Security Prisons: A 5-Star Resort for Criminals or Just Really Nice...
Norway’s maximum security prisons have become the material of a bizarre vacation brochure. With facilities resembling luxurious hotels and activities including yoga classes and...
Nation Holds Breath as Kash Patel Nominated to Wield Unlimited Power, Experts Predict Apocalypse
In a shocking twist that could only be dreamt up by Hollywood screenwriters, the former FBI officials are raising alarms over Kash Patel’s upcoming...
