Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...
In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...
TIL Al Capone Ran Charity Dedicated to Feeding Three Hot Meals a Day to...
In one of the most ludicrous twists of charity lore, infamous gangster Al Capone not only served up hot meals to the down-and-out during...
Local Man Confirms Universe’s Total Lack of Sense Makes Absolutely No Sense to Him
In a groundbreaking moment of existential clarity, one bewildered local has voiced an opinion about the universe that has left everyone scratching their heads....
Nation Offers Free Permanent Residency In Exchange For Bizarre Talent Show Audition
Imagine a world where the path to instant citizenship isn’t just paved with paperwork, but instead involves performing the moonwalk while reclining in a...
Local Man Somehow Achieves Better Life After Purchasing 57th Ice Cream Maker
In an unexpected twist of suburbia, an ordinary man proclaimed that his quest for a better life has culminated in the acquisition of his...
World War II Veteran Bob Fernandez Finally Defeats Age, Dies a Whopping 83 Years...
In an astonishing display of longevity, 100-year-old Pearl Harbor survivor Bob Fernandez has reportedly passed away precisely 83 years after the catastrophic bombing that...
Google Unleashes Horde of Chrome-Selling Pirates to Save Browser Market Share Amidst Furious Pantomime
In an unprecedented twist reminiscent of a Hollywood blockbuster, Google reacts to rumors of having to sell its beloved Chrome browser by hiring a...
Canadian Teen Contracts Rare Super Bird Flu After Whispering Sweet Nothings to a Wild...
In what can only be described as a plot twist straight out of a bizarre coming-of-age movie, a Canadian teenager finds themselves in a...
Nation Prepares for Total Meltdown After Political Content Notification Triggers 30-Day Ban on Critical...
In a stunning twist that has left Internet users gasping for air, a new policy threatens to banish all forms of political discourse for...
U.S. Defense Contractor Offers $42 Million to Former Iraqi Detainees as Apology for Mental...
In a wild twist in corporate accountability, a U.S. defense contractor has announced it will pay $42 million to former Iraqi detainees, coupled with...
