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Local Man Asks ‘Fair Question’ Before Instantly Becoming CEO of Quantum Time Travel Company

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A seemingly benign inquiry has skyrocketed a humble local man's life into the cosmos, as he casually asks a fair question, triggering an unforeseen...

Just Eat Takeaway Announces Epic Fire Sale of Grubhub, Offers Free Integrity with Every...

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In a move that has left the food delivery industry shaking, Just Eat Takeaway has decided to sell Grubhub at a jaw-dropping loss of...

LA Declares Itself a Full-Blown Fortress City in Hilarious Attempt to Weather Trump’s Incoming...

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In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and late-night comedians gaining invaluable material, Los Angeles has enacted a new ordinance...

Google Unleashes Horde of Chrome-Selling Pirates to Save Browser Market Share Amidst Furious Pantomime

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In an unprecedented twist reminiscent of a Hollywood blockbuster, Google reacts to rumors of having to sell its beloved Chrome browser by hiring a...

World War II Veteran Bob Fernandez Finally Defeats Age, Dies a Whopping 83 Years...

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In an astonishing display of longevity, 100-year-old Pearl Harbor survivor Bob Fernandez has reportedly passed away precisely 83 years after the catastrophic bombing that...

Local Driver Turns Sports Center into Real-Life Demolition Derby, 35 Crushed Underweight of Spectacle

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In an unexpected fusion of athleticism and vehicular mayhem, a driver transformed a tranquil sports center into a scene more reminiscent of a disaster...

Local Man Somehow Achieves Better Life After Purchasing 57th Ice Cream Maker

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In an unexpected twist of suburbia, an ordinary man proclaimed that his quest for a better life has culminated in the acquisition of his...

New York Airport Declares State of Emergency After Drone Enthusiast Attempts to Deliver Pizza...

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In a bizarre twist of events, a single drone sighting at one of New York's bustling airports led to a full-blown emergency as air...

China’s Starlink Rival Unleashes Secret Space Monkeys to Conquer Brazilian Market

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As the internet race heats up, China's audacious Starlink competitor just took the quirky route: deploying trained space monkeys to ensure unparalleled internet service...

Jersey Mike’s Subs Valued at $8 Billion After Mysterious Investment from Intergalactic Sandwich Consortium

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In a shockwave reverberating through both the culinary and financial worlds, Jersey Mike's Subs has reportedly rocketed to an astronomical $8 billion valuation following...