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Squirrel Launches Full-Scale Assault on Mom’s Window in Buffalo, City Declares State of Emergency

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In an unprecedented incident that has left Buffalo residents baffled and on high alert, a rogue squirrel took aim at a mother's window, igniting...

Vigilante Traffic Sign Artist Declared Public Enemy Number One for Unleashing Unseen Levels of...

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In a jaw-dropping twist of creativity, a vigilante artist has turned the roads of Colorado into a riotous display of NSFW traffic signs, prompting...

Shell Declares Emissions Reduction Optional, Promises To Make Up For It By Planting Trees...

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In a shocking twist, Shell triumphs in court over an emissions reduction order, unveiling their bold new strategy: profound environmentalism through non-existent trees and...

World War II Veteran Bob Fernandez Finally Defeats Age, Dies a Whopping 83 Years...

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In an astonishing display of longevity, 100-year-old Pearl Harbor survivor Bob Fernandez has reportedly passed away precisely 83 years after the catastrophic bombing that...

Local Woman Now Offering Financial Wisdom Alongside Psychic Readings and Free Pizza

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In a shocking turn of events, a local woman has declared herself both a financial advisor and a psychic, leaving many perplexed and concerned....

McKinsey & Company Settles Opioid Crisis Probe by Paying $650 Million in Monopoly Money

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In a move more reminiscent of a children’s game than corporate accountability, McKinsey & Company has agreed to pay $650 million to resolve a...

Local Man Arrested for Murder After Elaborate Scheme to Frame Bear for Identity Theft...

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In a bizarre twist of fate, a man has been arrested not just for murder, but for an outrageous scheme involving bears and identity...

Local Historians Confirm: ‘Unluckiest Man in Pompeii’ Wins Lifetime Achievement Award for Suffering

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Meet the 'unluckiest man in Pompeii,' whose skeleton tells a tragicomic tale of monumental bad luck, involving a rock, a tunnel, and a surprise...

Local Dad Deemed ‘Inappropriate’ After Outrageous Attempt to Replicate Viral TikTok Dance at School...

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In a shocking turn of events, a local father has been labeled 'inappropriate' after his overly ambitious attempt to steal the spotlight during his...

Local Man Somehow Achieves Better Life After Purchasing 57th Ice Cream Maker

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In an unexpected twist of suburbia, an ordinary man proclaimed that his quest for a better life has culminated in the acquisition of his...