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Local Historians Confirm: ‘Unluckiest Man in Pompeii’ Wins Lifetime Achievement Award for Suffering

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Meet the 'unluckiest man in Pompeii,' whose skeleton tells a tragicomic tale of monumental bad luck, involving a rock, a tunnel, and a surprise...

Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...

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In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...

FDA Discovers Secret Mold Army in Tom’s of Maine Facility, Citing Bacteria as New...

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In an unexpected twist, the FDA's recent inspection at Tom's of Maine has unveiled a bizarre world where bacteria and mold reign supreme, prompting...

Nation Declares State of Emergency as 5 Million Children Misplace Medicaid Coverage Under Couch...

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In an unprecedented twist of fate, more than five million children have suddenly found themselves in a chaotic game of hide-and-seek with their Medicaid...

Local Man Shocked to Discover ‘Being Tired’ Is Just a Rational Response to Existing...

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In a stunning revelation, a local man has uncovered the shocking truth behind 'being tired'—a completely normal reaction to living in a world governed...

Just Eat Takeaway Announces Epic Fire Sale of Grubhub, Offers Free Integrity with Every...

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In a move that has left the food delivery industry shaking, Just Eat Takeaway has decided to sell Grubhub at a jaw-dropping loss of...

Local Employee Discovers Revolutionary New Method of Being Ticketed for Parking Halfway to Mars

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In a world where parking tickets have evolved into a form of modern art, one employee's illegal parking predicament spirals into an outlandish saga....

LA Declares Itself a Full-Blown Fortress City in Hilarious Attempt to Weather Trump’s Incoming...

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In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and late-night comedians gaining invaluable material, Los Angeles has enacted a new ordinance...

Local Man Somehow Achieves Better Life After Purchasing 57th Ice Cream Maker

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In an unexpected twist of suburbia, an ordinary man proclaimed that his quest for a better life has culminated in the acquisition of his...

Yazidi Teen Escapes ISIS, Only to Be Rescued by a Winnipeg Moose with a...

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The tale of a Yazidi teen’s perilous escape from ISIS in Iraq has taken a bizarre and comical twist. In an absurd saga that...