Mattel Unveils Latest Movie Dolls Featuring Accidentally Printed URL for World’s Leading Adult Entertainment...
In a stunning blunder that has left parents both puzzled and horrified, Mattel’s latest batch of ‘Wicked’ movie dolls has been accidentally packaged with...
Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?
In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...
Local Man Convicted for Bewilderingly Overzealous Double Homicide, Claims it was Just a Misunderstanding...
In a case that has bewildered everyone from the courtroom to social media, Richard Allen stands convicted of the tragic murders of two girls...
Local Man Asks ‘Fair Question’ Before Instantly Becoming CEO of Quantum Time Travel Company
A seemingly benign inquiry has skyrocketed a humble local man's life into the cosmos, as he casually asks a fair question, triggering an unforeseen...
Nation Substitutes Phub Ban with Mandatory Abstinence Classes Taught by Former Adult Film Stars
In an unexpected twist, a nation grappling with a ban on adult content is now opting for a rather quirky solution: mandatory abstinence classes...
Archaeologists Discover Ancient Egyptian Party Scene Featuring Mummies Downing Psychedelic Cocktails at Raves
Recent archaeological discoveries have blown the lid off ancient Egyptian culture, revealing that the pharaohs were not just known for their hieroglyphs and tombs...
Shell Declares Emissions Reduction Optional, Promises To Make Up For It By Planting Trees...
In a shocking twist, Shell triumphs in court over an emissions reduction order, unveiling their bold new strategy: profound environmentalism through non-existent trees and...
Oklahoma City Cop Turns 71-Year-Old into Human Flashlight After Traffic Stop Gone Wild
What happens when a routine traffic stop spirals into slapstick chaos? In an astonishing display of absurdity, an Oklahoma City officer body-slams a 71-year-old...
Nation Offers Free Permanent Residency In Exchange For Bizarre Talent Show Audition
Imagine a world where the path to instant citizenship isn’t just paved with paperwork, but instead involves performing the moonwalk while reclining in a...
Nation Breathlessly Awaits Arrival of World’s Largest Heavy Hauler, Dubbed ‘Behemoth on Wheels’
In a stunning display of engineering absurdity, transportation officials confirm the impending arrival of the 'Behemoth on Wheels'—a colossal heavy hauler designed to deliver...
