Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...
In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...
Archaeologists Discover Ancient Egyptian Party Scene Featuring Mummies Downing Psychedelic Cocktails at Raves
Recent archaeological discoveries have blown the lid off ancient Egyptian culture, revealing that the pharaohs were not just known for their hieroglyphs and tombs...
Squirrel Launches Full-Scale Assault on Mom’s Window in Buffalo, City Declares State of Emergency
In an unprecedented incident that has left Buffalo residents baffled and on high alert, a rogue squirrel took aim at a mother's window, igniting...
Uncontrolled ‘Fireworks’ at New Jersey-New York Border Sparks Nationwide Outrage Over 2,500 Acres of...
In an unprecedented turn of events, a raging fire has engulfed over 2,500 acres at the New Jersey-New York border, prompting questions about state...
Haitian Vacation Destined for Chaos as Spirit Airlines Announces New ‘Guns or Roses’ Flight...
In a shocking turn of events grounded in absurdity, Spirit Airlines has rolled out its latest promotional campaign, ‘Guns or Roses’, following a memorable...
Local Man Shocked to Discover ‘Being Tired’ Is Just a Rational Response to Existing...
In a stunning revelation, a local man has uncovered the shocking truth behind 'being tired'—a completely normal reaction to living in a world governed...
Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Sued for Allegedly Organizing Brutal Dance Battle After Unsolicited ‘Sassy Move’
In a shocking turn of events, Sean 'Diddy' Combs finds himself at the center of a lawsuit after being accused of launching an impromptu...
Harriet Tubman Awarded Intergalactic General Rank at Veterans Day Extravaganza, Unleashing Time-Traveling Freedom Fighters
In a move that can only be described as a cosmic blend of history and sci-fi, Harriet Tubman has been posthumously promoted to the...
Donald Trump Jr. Spanks Zelenskyy for Allowance Cuts, Proposes ‘Budgeting for War’ Lecture
In a bizarre twist of geopolitical ridicule, Donald Trump Jr. took to social media to mock Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, suggesting a cut in...
Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?
In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...
