Aspiring Criminal Can’t Contain Himself, Immediately Launches Epic 12-Part Crime Series Featuring Elaborate Heists...
In a shocking turn of events, a local man has decided that waiting to commit crimes is for chumps. He boldly declared his intention...
Local Alien Claims They Can’t Find America On Map—Is It Real?
In a shocking turn of events, a self-proclaimed alien has confessed to being completely clueless about American culture—despite being intrigued by the nation's pancake-eating...
Google Unleashes Horde of Chrome-Selling Pirates to Save Browser Market Share Amidst Furious Pantomime
In an unprecedented twist reminiscent of a Hollywood blockbuster, Google reacts to rumors of having to sell its beloved Chrome browser by hiring a...
Desperate Measures: Trump’s Border Czar Announces Nationwide Workplace Raids with Clown Car Logistics
In a shocking escalation of workplace immigration policy, Trump’s newly appointed ‘border czar’ has unveiled plans for ludicrously extravagant immigration raids that will sweep...
Local Man Throws Trash Can Away, Accidentally Sparks International Trash Can Diplomacy Crisis
In a bizarre twist of fate, a simple act of throwing away a trash can has spiraled into an international incident. As local authorities...
TIL Al Capone Ran Charity Dedicated to Feeding Three Hot Meals a Day to...
In one of the most ludicrous twists of charity lore, infamous gangster Al Capone not only served up hot meals to the down-and-out during...
Local Man Mistakenly Believes Sperm Whale Just Trying to Scan Him for Wi-Fi Connection
In an extraordinary case of aquatic miscommunication, marine biologist Dave Chandler claims a curious sperm whale attempted to 'scan' him for Wi-Fi while he...
Lawyer Claims Client’s Outburst at Jail Was Actually an Elaborate Performance Art Piece
In a case that defies both reason and sanity, the lawyer representing a suspect in the notorious killing of a healthcare executive insists his...
Nation Prepares for Total Meltdown After Political Content Notification Triggers 30-Day Ban on Critical...
In a stunning twist that has left Internet users gasping for air, a new policy threatens to banish all forms of political discourse for...
Exclusive: Russia Withdraws from Syria in Attempt to Pave Driveway with Airstrikes
In a shocking turn of events, sources confirm that Russia is not completely exiting Syria, instead opting for a bizarre new endeavor: turning military...
